Shocked, I was just eating my gyros, until I heard a loud BANG downstairs. Suddenly, I strolled to my clear,clean window and I saw blood red and sky blue police cars outside. Confused, the dirty police cars seemed to be surrounding my whole entire house. Frightened, What was it? Thoughts flew through my brainy head like wildfire spreading like a spartan army. Curious, I heard it again I slipped out my chair and raced downstairs to investigate. It was a monster with bright red eyes as I turned round it changed shape to a man with scars. Horrified, I ran….!
Well done Alex!
You have good use of similes in your writing!
You have also amazing adjectives how you thought of them was amazing!!
Try to use more rhetorical questions for effect!